I had the best time at university. For an introverted teenager university can be a place to reinvent yourself. You move out, live by yourself, and have peers with similar aspirations all around you. It really can be a pivotal experience in your life. At school I was a partially shy kid. That is to say I was shy only around girls and in situations where I had to speak publicly. The thought of the latter was crippling, let alone actually doing it. Yet, I very much enjoyed my time at school. I had the best friends and some amazing teachers. I would not change anything about it.
Anyway, back to university. I tried my best to push myself out of my comfort zone. I went to all the parties and talked to everyone I met. Everyone did the same in return. This felt superficial. I hate superficial. Every time I am in a store and an employee approaches me, the first thing I think is that this is not a real interaction. This person is being paid to talk to me. Which seems reasonable enough, but the whole thing is strange to me. (So much for back to university.)
Anyway, back to university again. I had developed superficial confidence, thanks to a liquid we all know all too well. Alcohol. Inhibitions are no longer holding you back. You talk your mind and you have a great time. Yet, when the alcohol wore off I was back to being me again, even though I wanted to be that confident person alcohol made me. Alcohol is a lot of fun but it is not a permanent solution. It treats the symptom and not the disease.
For a very long time I thought people were just born confident. They came out the womb and charmed the nurses and the doctor in the room. I was cursed to be shy and use alcohol as a clutch for the rest of my life. That is not to say I did not become more confident at university. I developed so much but still I was not charming the socks off anyone anytime soon.
After university I discovered some channels that changed my attitude about confidence. I watched video after video. I was hooked! It was amazing! These videos taught me confidence could be taught like any other skill, you just have to practice. With enough repetition you can actually become confident. I am not a social beast by any means. But knowing that I can be is a reassuring thought. I learnt techniques that I try to put into use everyday so I can become that social beast.
Of course it is not easy. Like any skill you have to dedicate yourself. I just wish I found these videos at university as I could have tried out these skills on new people. An empty canvas where I could have painted myself in any way I wished with these videos guiding me. I am glad I discovered these videos nonetheless, as they are useful to all!
These videos are created Charlie Houpert on his channel, Charisma on Command. I will instantly click on his video as soon as it appears in my subscription box. He is genuinely nice guy, who learnt to be charismatic and wants to share that with the world. He understands the crippling nature of shyness as he went through it himself. He understands it and he teaches the cure. He has course but the information he provides on youtube is more than enough to get started.
I will provide a few links so get ready to binge watch, because this is addictive!