My colleague can be annoying at times. He takes his time when asked to do something. His communication skills are not the best. He has a habit of mumbling. He thinks he is always right and always has to argue his side and will not concede. But he is a really hard worker. He has worked 7 day weeks and agrees to travel, in order to film, within short notice. At first his annoying habits irked me. As I got to know him, however, my appreciation for his hard work overtook my irritation at his annoying behaviour.
We were out filming for an event and it had been a long day. We got something to eat and discussed the days events. After this discussion came to a close he asked me what I wanted to do in the future? As always I said “I don’t know,” which is a half truth. I know what I want to do, but I can not be bothered to discuss it with people. Normally, people just say something along the lines of “you’ll figure it out” or “you’re still young, you have time.” But not my opinionated colleague. He said something much more piercing.
“If you don’t decide your future someone else will do it for you.” This took me some time to truly understand what he said. Finally I made sense of it. If I don’t play the game, I will become a character in another persons game. If I picked a game to play I would enjoy it and want to progress. I would feel the rewards of progressing and would level up to become a stronger version of myself. But in another persons game I am just a stepping stone for them to level up. In this other persons game I lack control as I do as I am told.
It is like when your mum asked you to choose between two sweets and if you did not she would choose for you. Sometimes your mum’s choice was bad but that was on you. If you had chosen you would have been much happier, but you did not decide. Decide what you want to do in the future or someone will do it for you.
Today I was talking to my colleague and I mentioned that I wrote what he said down and it really made me think. He seemed pleased with himself as I had made him feel important. He was much more social after this. That made me think of Dale Carnegie. One of his rules was to make people feel important. I accidentally did that today and it worked!